Today, I am reminded that I have the power and the control over my own life. While some things do not go as I had hoped or others may think they have the say or control over the things I do, today I am reminded they only have control if I allow them to have control. The more I allow someone else to have this power, the more control that person does have over me. Today, I take back that control and put it into my own hands.
Each of us as individuals, have the say over what others can take away from us. Although we may not be able to control the bad things that happen to us, we do control how we allow those to effect us. The more control we give it, the more we allow that person or situation to take from us – knocking us down even further.
In my life, there have been many times I have gotten knocked down. Some of the events that happened really took control of my life and how I felt about myself. Those were very dark days for me where it was hard to see any type of light down the path. For many of the days, I allowed it to make me feel like I was worth less than what I was. I continuously felt I was worthless and deserved exactly what happened to me. You see, I didn’t actually have control over the actual situation or what was happening to me, but I did have control over how it was allowed to continuously impact me as time went on. For the longest time, the scars were so deep that I didn’t see this. It took many years to view myself in a different light, a brighter, better light.
Even though it has been quite some time since those things happen, I still find that I fall into the same pattern where I let a life’s event take me down the same path of feeling worthless yet again. It isn’t that I want to allow this to happen, but rather that I don’t realize it is happening. You see, when you had so many years of being made to feel worthless, it is easy to go backwards when situations happen. At some point, I may write about the details surrounding some of the things, but for now, I am writing to not only tell myself that this is okay, but to let you, my readers, know that this does happen. Life can be going great and then something negative happens to trigger what is lying, waiting to show it’s ugly face. Sometimes prior things are so engrained in us, that they can still try to take control. It does happen, but we can regain control by choosing how we let it effect us.
Today, I was reminded of that. I was reminded that I do still have the power to either give into those demons that haunt me or I can take back the control that they were gaining over me. Today…I choose to take back that control over how I let these things make me feel. I am not worthless and no one but me, has the ability to make me feel I am.